Thursday, July 31, 2008

Locked on Target

What is it with kids and throwing up? How it is that they are able to throw up exactly where you don’t want them to when they’re sick? One would assume such pinpoint accuracy with body fluids could not be possible from something so tiny, but they’ve definitely got the gift of aim. If it weren’t so amazingly disgusting, it would actually be incredibly impressive.

I’ve had every square inch of a 10 foot radius surrounding the kids covered in towels, and yet somehow they seem to find the one small gap in coverage every time. Wham! Just like a sidewinder missile slamming into its target, or a bat honing in on a moth with it’s sonar in the dead of night, they’ve gotcha! If there is even the slightest breach in coverage, they’ll be sure to find it…every time.

Oh, and is it just me, or does food in their stomachs seem to double…or triple…in volume from when it entered? I swear that more comes out of them than ever went in. Macaroni and cheese multiplies in the belly worse than Gremlins eating after midnight. You may think I’m joking, but anyone with kids knows what I’m saying is true.

The funny thing is that my wife likes to tell me that as bad as our kids puking aim is, she can think of people who are worse. It’s strange that she only brings it up when she’s cleaning the toilets.

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Life is just too funny to be taken so seriously