Winter Olympics

With the winter Olympics halfway over I find myself wondering one thing. How in the world is curling a sport? Don’t get me wrong because I actually enjoy watching curling. I’m amazed at the skill of the players in making shots I didn’t even think possible. They perfect the use of angles and lines better than any engineer I know. The way they glide around one footed on the ice is truly masterful. The camaraderie and teamwork of the players is nothing short of inspiring. But to be called a sport is just downright hypocritical.

In what other sport can you have a middle age man considered in the prime of his sport? For example Team Canada’s captain, at age 43, is playing some of his best curling ever. Hello, 43? Doesn’t anyone else see the irony in this? At 43 this man is out competing men half his age, men in the prime of their life. Men who don’t even know what backaches are or how good a nap can be. Men who really only have two things on their minds…sports and sex…and not particularly in that order. I mean think of it this way, Brett Farve could actually retire from the NFL and have a successful career in curling. That’s right, Brett Farve who has about reached the end of the line in his NFL career because of his age would be able to retire but still could potentially become a top player in the so called sport of curling. Step aside Revlon, Curling is the one that’s truly age defying.

I’ve always felt for a sport to truly be considered a sport that some sort of physical exertion needs to be spent. You know, something that elevates your heart rate a little, maybe causes you to sweat, possibly even cause a muscle pull if not properly stretched and warmed up before hand. I don’t think any of those are even possible in curling. In fact I would argue that ping pong is more of a sport than curling. At least in ping pong there is a lot of moving and the chance for an elevated heart rate. We don’t consider poker a sport do we? Yet poker has about as much physical exertion as curling. And before anyone tries to say otherwise I would suggest you try sitting in a chair for a couple of hours straight with nothing but a poker face on. It’s not as easy as you would think…try lifting the cards so only you can see what you have without letting the camera, your opponents, or the audience see.

Shoot, I would go as far as to say that texting could be considered more of a sport than curling because with texting at least there is a chance of an injury. Ever have a sprained finger? It’s not very fun.

I would probably have to put the game of curling up at the same level as bowling. Please don’t tell me that you consider bowling a sport. I mean in what other sport can the person be fat, out of shape, and drinking a beer while eating a plate full of nachos between turns. And this is no slam on nachos because I love nachos. I’m just saying bowling is not a sport. Just as curling is not a sport.

Shuffleboard is another game that, while I quite enjoy it (mainly because if I’m playing it probably means I’m on a cruise), I would not consider it a sport. In fact, I think that is how curling came about…a dash of bowling, a pinch of shuffleboard... throw into some ice just for kicks and viola, you have curling. But just as two wrongs don’t make a right, two non sports don’t make a sport.

That being said, I think that I would really enjoy playing a game of curling. It looks like a lot of fun.