"Let's Move" Away From This Healthy Crap

So it seems that Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" anti-obesity program has become the "Let's Move Away From This Anti-obesity Program" program, as kids are literally scrambling to get away from it. Apparently kids don't like food that tastes very similar to card board and wood chips. Who could have guessed? Either way though it looks like her program has been quite a success by getting kids to do exactly what it was designed to do...move! Even if it is just to avoid the food offered by the program.

Many parents have commented on the success of the program, saying things like, "I've never seen my kid run faster in their life just to avoid something...not even from chores."

It’s hard to discount the huge success the program is having on getting children to move even though the "Let's Move" program started from a simple mistake by the First Lady. Supposedly the original intent of the program was meant to be an after school program for children to watch movies and socialize with one another called "Let's Movie." However after a tragic spelling mistake, in which the ‘i’ was dropped in ‘movie’, the program became "Let's Move", which left Michelle and the rest of her team scrambling to come up with recipes designed at eating more healthy. This explains why the food tastes like crap and why kids are literally running away from it.

When asked about the original program and the spelling mistake, Michelle Obama acknowledged that spelling was not her strong suit and never has been. "You should have seen my spelling mistakes in college," she said. We would love to verify her statement, however, since she and the President, continue to refuse to release their college transcripts while maintaining how transparent this administration has been, we are unable to do so at this time.

When asked if she's seen a difference in her own kids because of the program, the First Lady responded by saying, "Sasha and Malia? Oh no, those two wouldn't be caught dead eating that crap. I'm just stoked if they'll even try their vegetables at dinner and that’s typically only after adding lots of butter and promising them candy afterwards if they’ll eat it. I'm not going to force a program like 'Let's Move' on them. That would just be cruel and I'm a much better parent than that. But I would like to take this moment if I could to remind the rest of the nation to get out and 'Let's Move' to better health."

Fun Facts On America's most Beloved Pet, the Goldfish

Did you know that the average life span of a goldfish is 20 years? I had no idea they could live that long. Of course when placed in a tank with a piranha their average life span decreases to 20 seconds. Depending on how hungry the piranha is of course.

Also it is a known fact that if you keep a goldfish in the dark it will eventually turn white. Upon hearing this news, Rev. Al Sharpton has said he plans to take a serious look into this claim before planning any formal protests or taking any specific legal action against goldfish in general. However, he does feel that there are many other colors the goldfish could turn besides white and hopes they will consider these other colors just as equally. He also refused to rule out asking Eric Holder and the DOJ to look into this matter as well.

What is Cool?

It is my belief that the coolest people in this world are those people who have a personal alien encounter story. Seriously, does it get any cooler than that? And if it's a story of actually being abducted by aliens....well then, you are the coolest of cool people.

What do you guys think...what makes a person cool?